Growing up in the inner city, we’re introduced early to the concept of "hoods." There’s your hood—the neighborhood you call home, shaped by the streets you played on and the people who raised you. Then, there are other hoods—the ones you hear about, visit, or even clash with, each with its own vibe, struggles, and pride. But out of all the hoods, my favorite will always be motherhood. It’s a hood like no other—a space of boundless love, unmatched resilience, and the ultimate strength. Motherhood isn’t just about raising children; it’s about rewriting the narrative and shaping a brighter future while holding down the present.
The Lessons We Inherit
In the inner city, the lessons we inherit go deeper than we realize. From finance to health, relationships, and careers, the knowledge—or lack of it—passed down to us defines how we navigate life. We learn about survival before stability, making ends meet before building wealth. Health becomes less about prevention and more about enduring until the next crisis. Relationships mirror what we’ve seen, not necessarily what we deserve, and career aspirations are often limited by what feels within reach, not what’s truly possible. These generational patterns leave gaps in understanding that affect us deeply as children, shaping how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Why Motherhood Is So Powerful
And this is where motherhood becomes so powerful. As mothers, we stand at the intersection of past and future. We have the unique ability to challenge what we were taught, to break the cycles of lack, and to offer our children something better—financial literacy, health awareness, self-love, and dreams that reach far beyond the limitations we grew up with. Motherhood is about more than nurturing; it’s about transformation, for ourselves and for the generations to come.
My Unexpected Journey to Motherhood
My journey to motherhood has been anything but expected. Before I ever had the full experience of raising a child, I had already stepped into a mothering role in ways I never anticipated. My niece, Breanna, was the first person who truly taught me what it means to nurture, guide, and show up for someone. When I stepped into this role, Breanna was a pre-teen, and navigating this dynamic wasn’t easy. At just 16 years apart, it was challenging to fully understand what being a mother figure to her meant. I was still figuring out my own path in life, and suddenly I found myself in a position where someone was looking to me for support, advice, and love. We grew up together in many ways, learning from each other as we navigated this uncharted territory. Now, at 20 years old, Breanna is a working college student who still looks to me for guidance and reassurance, reminding me of the impact that role had on both of our lives.
I was in a season of healing, rebuilding myself while growing my business, and trying to figure out what I truly wanted. I spent a lot of time reflecting, questioning whether my dreams were really mine or just what society told me I should want. Motherhood was one of those things I had to sit with. Growing up, we see it so much that we assume it’s just part of our path. But the more I thought about it, the more I questioned if I even wanted it—or if I was ready.
God, however, had other plans. On October 8, 2023, my other niece asked me to raise her son, Javarion (and no, y’all are not getting his whole government name! LOL). I had every intention of being the cool auntie, but God said, “Nah, sis, I need you over here.”
Just like that, I went from figuring out my own path to stepping fully into motherhood.
Breaking Cycles and Building Futures
Every time I look into that little boy’s eyes, and he gazes back at me like I’m his whole world, like I’ve got it all figured out, it stirs something deep within me. It makes me want to do better, be better. It reminds me that breaking cycles isn’t just a goal—it’s a responsibility. I want to give him more than just love; I want to equip him with the knowledge and tools he needs to thrive. As a Black woman raising Black children, I know how important it is to teach them about their worth, history, and culture—not as a burden to carry, but as a source of pride and strength that empowers them to walk confidently in this world.
But raising a child isn’t just about giving them the basics or showing them love; it’s about pouring into their soul the values, wisdom, and resilience they’ll need to survive and succeed. This is why it’s so important not to bring children into the world simply because it’s expected or because we think it’s "what we’re supposed to do." We need to ask ourselves, What am I going to pour into this child’s spirit? How will I prepare them for the world? Let’s move away from leaving it up to schools, society, or anyone else to shape and program our children. It starts with us.
It Starts With Us
We have to build ourselves first—emotionally, mentally, spiritually—because the foundation we lay in ourselves is the one our children will stand on. They don’t just need parents who love them; they need parents who are whole, who are intentional, and who are ready to pass down wisdom instead of wounds. Raising children is not just a gift—it’s a legacy, and the work we do in ourselves today determines the future they’ll inherit tomorrow.
Motherhood is the realest hood there is. And it’s one I’ll always be proud to call home.
To all the mothers out there doing the work, breaking cycles, and pouring into the next generation—this journey isn’t always easy, but it is powerful, and it is worth it. Drop a 💙 if you're raising a son, a 💖 if you're raising a daughter, and if you’re raising both—drop them both because you are doing something amazing. 💙💖